Sucking Dicks for Mind Reading Powers (or vice-versa)

If there is one thing people from different walks of life can agree on, that one thing is that we’ve all been asked at least once, “Hey if you’re able to choose one superpower, what will it be?” At least that’s what I was brought up to believe, heheh. As usual, ridiculous questions will always demand ridiculous answers. I’ll list out a couple of popular ones that I don’t agree with:

1. Invisibility
People who chose this usually are perverts. What they don’t realize though, is that choosing invisibility makes them an asshole too. Sure, you can peep and rape all you want, but hopefully your semen is invisible too if you don’t wanna get fucked by the long dick of the law. Besides, by choosing invisibility you’re choosing to forever isolate yourself from the world.

2. Time Travel
We all make mistakes and some live to regret those mistakes. These dimwits are the ones who will choose time travel as their superpower of choice. Yeah sure, this one comes the closest to being realistic but fuck you, I think it’s for pussies who missed out on life. I bet those of you who are reading this and chose this superpower are thinking, “Damn I wish I had this power so I can fuck that chick back in high school.”

3. Super Intelligence
For the love of God, will someone stop choosing super intelligence? This superpower is so mainstream that is annoys the fuck out of me. Batman, Spiderman and almost all superheroes are smart. Even super villains are smart nowadays. This shit is too overrated. Am I the only one who wants to see a dumbfuck superhero called Stupid-Man? Unless they can invent a pussy magnet machine, they’re still suffering from the virus that is stupidity.

4. Super Dick-Powers
This may sound a little weird to you so let me explain. For those of you who don’t know, before the beginning of the 19th century, a bunch of scientists and comic writers actually gathered for one “Mother of all Meetings” and discussed about the authenticity of super dick-power. The ability to please another human being sexually without limitations (exhaustion, premature ejaculation, dying halfway in sex sessions, distracted by football while fucking, sex tape scandals) is sought after ever since the beginning of time. And the meeting is adjourned with all members agreeing that super dick-powers is indeed realistic. The reason why we have yet to see Dickman in the cinemas is cause there are fucked up parents wanting to protect their kids from the “harsh” reality of life. Geez, everybody plays the sex game nowadays = fact.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

With all that aside, I want to tell you the superpower of my choice. I want mind reading powers. Yeah yeah you’re probably bitching and saying, “But slowhands, people like Professor X already have that power!” Yes you have a point there. But there is nothing that’s gonna stop me from writing this post, is there? The reason why I want mind reading powers is cause it’s easier to suck corporate dicks that way. In my opinion, sucking corporate dicks is the easiest way to get you to the top. BUT, I disagree with sucking too many dicks. The rule is to suck only one necessary dick. There are a lot of pretentious people out there nowadays who tricks you into sucking their dick just for the fun of it. So with mind reading powers, I will be able to determine who and how to suck.

If you believe the bullshit that is the above paragraph, you deserve to be shot in the penis, with shotgun pellets coated with salt. Nobody wants to suck dick with mind reading SUPERPOWERS if they’re fucking sane, right? If it isn’t obvious enough, I’ll probably be better off robbing banks, fucking chicks, and securing business deals if I have this superpower.

In reality, I’ve been playing a lot of mind games actually so I just wanna know what people are actually thinking. Yes, I consider the benefits of mind reading as endless and they're not only for playing mind games. But this post is getting a little too long so fuck this shit.

And no, I won’t suck dicks to get this orgasm-inducing power.