DAMN NIGGUH GUESS WHO'S BACK!!!
Unless you've been living in the woods foraging bushes, trapping rabbits and shit round here you should know that a controversial general election has just passed us by. People have been asking me what are my thoughts on the election and generally I've just been giving out generally dick answers like "Yeah.. umm... yeah, yeah.. cool." Fuck that shit. It doesn't mean that I'm without any opinions though. If I were to sum up the elections with just 2 pictures it'd be these two. First one would be:
I can't stand looking at more than 1 dicks (mine) at a time so this will do. Just try to imagine some 13 inch dicks in these hands above. That's what the People's Alliance (PR) is. A goddamn circlejerk. Don't know what a circlejerk is? Here's a definition from urban dictionary in its full glory:
"To kneel in a circle with others and pleasure oneself. Also refers to a pompous, self-congratulatory discussion where little to no progress is made."
First of all, I do not claim to be better, smarter, nor informed than the average joe here but do keep in mind that my standards of an average joe here in Malaysia is quite low. I don't want to go off on a tangent and slip off so I'll just address my problems with PR and its supporters like a true gangsta.
- There's no doubt that most urban voters supports PR. There's also no doubt that these so-called "informed" muhfuckers fail to see that while they have this perception that rural voters have been "brainwashed" by the National Front (BN), they themselves have been brainwashed by PR. What the fuck does "alternative media" means when the "alternative media" that you consume is the ONLY media you're relying on? Fucking websites that are CLEARLY biased towards the PR.
- This whole social media phenomenon is also pissing me off left and right. With everybody in YOUR circle of friends changing their profile picture to fucking rainbow birds, posting fingers up their vaginas, how can PR supporters not be over-confident in this general election? Even Anwar is proclaiming PR will win two hours into the election. Of course anything that doesn't result in PR winning will be a fraud in his eyes. Tell me this isn't self-mastubatory. Everybody that's going to vote for PR has already made up their mind five fucking years ago. We urban folks don't need convincing, rural folks do.
- When they lose, everyone gets emotional and start acting like a pussy.
"OH LORD MAGIC THIS, PHANTOM VOTERS THAT, OMAIGERD LET'S START PETITIONS TO ASK OTHERS TO CLEAN UP OUR SHIT, SHARE THIS SHIT OUT SO THAT I CAN JERK YOUR DICK WHILE YOU JERK MINE, LET'S CHANGE OUR PROFILE PICTURES SO THAT WE CAN FORGET IT A WEEK AFTER JUST LIKE KONY 2012 AND LYNAS"
People spewing shit based on allegations, based on videos of people screaming for 30 seconds, based on videos of people screaming in Mandarin around Malay officials. Who the fuck doesn't get agitated with this shit? You call yourself informed while jerking your dick, making accusations and sharing it with your friends who most likely have the same opinion as you?
- Phantom voters. PR supporters are so fucking full of themselves they don't even know they're full of hypocrisy and racism. Do they even know the term Bangla carries racist connotations in SEA? Do they even know how do differentiate between Bangladeshis and Tamil Indians? Even IF they really are phantom voters what gives you the right to attack and threaten them? Sharing posts asking for voters to look out for people who look like Bangladeshis. Friends and family sharing posts to stay at home cause apparently "Malays bought parangs to riot if PR wins."
- Election frauds. Again, accusations made based on stupid videos of people screaming here and there for 30 seconds. But it's soooo fun so let me try this.
- OMAIGERD, PR put foreign workers in a bus and asked to them to say "I'm here to vote for BN" FUUUUCK THE OPPOSITION UP IN THE ASS!!!!...... NO LUBE!
- OOOOHMAIGERD, PR switched off the lights and transferred extra ballot boxes in plain sight so that if they lose they can say it's election fraud!! FUUUUUUCK THE OPPOSITION IN ITS MOUTH!!! DEEPTHROAT AND GAG!
I'm not saying there's no possibility. But please refrain from saying stupid shit based on stupid videos just because you subscribe to group-think, just like your counterparts from BN. On the other hand, who's to say PR doesn't stand to gain anything from all these frauds? This leads me to my next point.
- Who in their right mind actually think PR can actually defeat some 50+ years of BN rule in just 5 short years? All these circlejerking has made PR supporters over-confident and rightfully fucking butthurt when they didn't win. One thing that people don't understand is the vocal minority vs the silent majority. I'd like to believe that I'm in the latter category. All these PR bullshit doesn't convince me into supporting them. Cheaper cars? Cheaper everything? Better transportation? Guess what, BN promises the same thing too.
"OOOH BUT BN IS RACED BASED POLITICS!!"
Come the fuck on, take a step back and look at PR, not race based? Don't give me that,
"Oooh but this % of in this area voted for this candidate!"
Of course they're gonna vote for him who the fuck else can they vote for when he's the only guy from PR running in the area? MCA and MIC has gone to shit, people just want to vote for "change" without knowing fully what that "change" entails.
But they're still not going to win, because all these mudslinging, smearing campaigns, vote for change, ubah this, ini kali that .. they're not convincing me. And I'm sure it's not convincing a lot of people. It's so.. immature. Honestly, the way those two do things are just the same, all so immature.
Man, there's so much more to say but I've become incoherent already. Bottom line is, I'm aware that I'm not politically informed enough of these two parties but from what I gather from my readings, both of them doesn't bring anything new onto the table for me. BN is still doing what it does best. PR is nothing but a circlejerk, supporters are just annoying the fuck out of me shoving their PR dicks forcefully into my mouth and my boss is still giving me shit pay.
Oh yeah, the other picture is this one:
Contrary to popular opinion, this is actually not a critique towards BN's shenanigans during the election. This is actually me smirking like a fucking lizard towards the reaction of PR supporters when they lost. Keep on jerking, cunts.
