Official Paul Gilbert Tribute Post

This is going to be a lengthy post on one of my biggest heroes. If you have read at least 5 posts here, you should know by the first sentence that I’m gonna talk about Paul Gilbert (again). I strongly accept the fact that every guitarist should have an official tribute post to Paul Gilbert as the truth. Yeah, I’ve been worshipping and promoting/exaggerating Paul Gilbert’s name to no end in this blog and THIS will be my official tribute post to the one true American hero that I recognize.

This is very vague, and shameful to me but I honestly forgot how I got to know Paul Gilbert. But if memory serves me right, I first heard of his name through Zack Kim’s blog. Either he linked or cited him as an influence or it’s just his PGM that had me looking up and down in the internet. At that time, the first picture I saw of Paul is his cover for the Spaceship One CD. He was in an astronaut’s suit and I stupidly dismissed him as an asshole. Or a wannabe.

Time went on and I finally get to try and listen to guitar instrumentalists like Steve Vai. The first instrumental that I really liked is Tender Surrender but that’s it. Vai was a weirdo to me back then, like a pedophile or something with his freaky smile. So I decided to move on to other guitarists. Naturally, Paul Gilbert’s name came up and I downloaded GOOMY. I listened to the first 1 minute and 38 seconds and decided this guy is the second coming of Christ that everyone is talking about.

Then I listened to his other solo stuff starting from SFBADR and worked back from there before settling on Racer X and Mr. Big. As you guys know, I’m a little bit of a stalker so for almost a year now, I wake up every morning and check paulgilbert.com and search youtube for latest videos with the tag “paul” and “gilbert”. People have coffee or cereals for breakfast but I fucking have Paul Gilbert for breakfast. I don’t know, but that alone spells INTENSE (or maybe Paul’s number 1 Malaysian fan)

Enough of that, now I’ll share why I adore Paul so much like a fat kid loves cake. You know when your girlfriend says, “It’s what inside that matters.” That’s bullshit, the outer appearance will speak louder no matter how much of an angel you are. What I wanna say is, I like Paul cause he pretty much fits in the rocker persona. Tall, thin, the rocker hair, long fingers, so-so fashion but good enough. He’s not that bad looking too, for a shredder. Besides, he has a Jap for a wife and that is always cool. Before you dwell on any perverse thoughts, no, I’m not saying that it’s cool just cause you can talk about tentacle rape and all those disgusting shit with your Jap wife.

The coolest thing about Paul is that he doesn’t discriminate. He doesn’t limit himself to just a genre. He plays metal (Racer X), blues (Raw Blues Power album), modern rock (every album), maybe a little psychedelic (I’m Free from the United States album, jazz (Six Billion People), pop (2 Become 1), classical (his Rip Off songs), funk (Bultaco Saturno), maybe a little techno too (Echo Song). Most importantly, he listens to the Beatles too!!!! Sure every shredder listens to the Beatles but Paul makes it clear to everyone that he likes the Beatles, unlike other shredders. Honestly, saying you don’t like the Beatles is like saying you like to play first person shooters but you don’t like CS. In this case, if you like music you FUCKING HAVE TO like the Beatles.

Lastly, I like his style and personality. Paul, I know the good guy thing is just a gimmick, you like to say fuck as much as I do but I respect you so I’ll let you off the hook this time. But anyway, he’s willing to share his knowledge, has a good sense of humor and he does not like sweep picking that much. Besides, he can play fast and clean. Excellent dynamics. Cool licks. Visually excellent gears (PGMs). Keyboard shredder wife. Nice vibratos. An excellent variety of rock faces, all greatly executed on stage.

How does he inspire me? Almost every time I listen to his songs whether I’m in the car or wherever, it makes me wanna instantly pick up the guitar and play (And I do play, mind you). This is fucking true. I don’t know why but there’s so much to learn (steal) from him. I found something new every time I listen to his songs. I wanna be like Paul so much. I wanna string skip even though my genetic limitations doesn’t allow me to. I wanna alternate pick even though I’m not that clean. I wanna copy his rock faces although my nose isn’t sharp enough and my hair isn’t straight and brown. I wanna own all his gears even though a lot of fuckers keep saying “tone is in the fingers”. Fuck you guys, I don’t care if I’m just “another Paul Gilbert copy”. I don’t mind, I love Paul! And thus ends my official tribute to Paul Brandon Gilbert.

p.s. I’m sorry I downloaded all your albums Paul, I’m fucking cheap and poor. No credit cards and whatsoever. But I will reaaaaaaally get your AF2 Flanger if it ever comes to Malaysia. Damn cool shit.

On Fishing

I took to the lake
And tread the waters at the side
Little did I know
That it's so deep underneath

I took to the lake
And saw a beautiful fish
Little did I know
That I wasn't so lucky

I took to the lake
And the fish finally took my bait
Little did I know
That I was to be fooled

I took to the lake
And the fish poisoned my catch
Little did I know
That fish belongs to another man

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You know, I pity men who are so eager in catching fishes, but never realizing that the fish was only there just because there wasn't any food at the other side of the lake. Joyfully, he will go home thinking he's all grand and almighty.. plotting his next move, how to cook it, dress it, serve it. Little did he realize, he is only a part of a bigger scheme that is ongoing. Little did he know, he was only used because the other fisherman was sleeping on his job. The fish is back in my pail, mate. Thanks for warming it for me. Better luck next time!

Glenn Frey Ruined This Post

I wanna blog about something today. But then again, Glenn Frey beat me to what I wanted to tell you guys tonight by 27 years. Which is fucking ages ago. The video is quite gay but I think there is a lot of room for "improvement". Maybe I'll RUIN this song someday. For the time being, let Glenn Frey tell you through his song, what I planned to write.

Succumbed To The Scare

Mix flu, mild fever, sore throat, mild headache and fatigue and what do you get? A fucking worried Chun Kiat. I’m down with these illnesses yesterday but I didn’t really think much about it cause I pretty much get bombarded by these things every time I’m sick. Thanks to a certain Ling Han Wei, he got me all riled up. I was honestly scared like fuck. Before you think too much, no I wasn’t scared that I’m getting ill. I honestly think it’s times like these that the stars aligned and bring the humanity in me out for display. For real though, I was scared that I might be a walking time bomb and my whole apartment will be hosting a H1N1 party.

Obviously, I started contacting every Sri Petaling friends I have on MSN asking for 24 hours clinics’ whereabouts. But then there’s this voice… the middle class society in me, telling me not to go. Apparently, the RM50++ bill is stopping me from going straight away to the clinic. So I sat there, weighing all the pros and cons. Thinking, “Macibai I got so soi or not?!” But then, I put myself in the position of those patients. Fuck, they were probably thinking the same shit too. Makes you wonder how fragile this life is. Everywhere you go there’s a risk of you dying or getting fucked up by mother nature.. or man made technologies.

Damn, I can go to Music Master and get fucking crushed by the guitars that some are probably bigger than me, descend the temple of shred and fall down to my untimely death. Or maybe Sam knock me unconscious and suck my dick until I die (you know you want me). Maybe Paul Gilbert finds out that I’m listening to Guthrie Govan’s Erotic Cakes more than SFBADR and decides to banish me into the fiery depths of hell. Gee, living in the twentieth century sure is a hassle.

Anyway, I went to the clinic and the doctor said it’s just some normal shit. So I can sleep peacefully tonight without infecting everyone a-la Left 4 Dead. FUCK MY RM69 GONE?!?!?!?! CIBAIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!

End Of Business

Just completed my assignment which consists of two websites, all constructed by copy pasting and editing other people’s work. Oh yeah, two additional documentations but they’re just mappings. Will be going to the college lab and work on it tomorrow/later. Before you guys go running your mouth about how unoriginal I am, please note that the lecturer herself taught us all this. It’s kinda cool though cause it saved me and my coursemates months time of learning basic HTML.

But let’s not talk about my mundane and exaggerated “life is so full of assignments *bawl*”. I’ve got something important to share.

A certain someone recently (by recently I mean most of the time) nagged me about how much I embrace procrastination. Hell yeah, she said I abuse the word cause I said procrastination rhymes with “enjoy your life, relax, be cool.” I’ll TRY to look at it from different perspectives and we’ll see which is better.

She said Malaysia is a place for old people. Okay, I fucking laughed so hard I almost shat my pants the first time I heard that shit. Why? Cause everybody’s always late and procrastinating, relaxing.. like how I put it. We're so laid back we're becoming turtles or something (I told her I listen to Racer X to speed my life up). She also said when there are things to do that are not done yet, it boggles her mind to no end cause there are things to do that are not done yet. THIS, I highly doubt cause for fuck’s sake she isn’t that bright concerning PCs and whatnot. Conclusion, people who procrastinates will have their stress all divided throughout the period until the dateline. It comes everyday, but in small doses. Which may be good. I don’t know, the only time I don’t procrastinate is when I masturbate so I’m not the one to go to for this.

Yeah we all know procrastinating is bad but goddamnit it’s so addictive! Why do your assignment when there are facebook games to be played, guitar licks to be learnt and more importantly, Paul Gilbert videos to watch again and again! Some people work better under pressure and I think I’m one of them. I enjoy not sleeping at night rushing for assignments while listening to Racer X. I enjoy the pressure inside my brain that squeezes all the creative juices out. Goddamn, there’s so many creative bullshit so logical that even the lecturer has to believe it to be written on the last night before the dateline. Oh yeah, did I mention that Paul Gilbert said he likes to work under pressure too? I don’t know where I read it but the interview’s lurking somewhere in ultimate-guitar.com.

I hate giving out yes AND no answers but in this case, I’ll have to opt for that one. Yeah, procrastinating is so fun but it’s best to have your assignment mapped out so that it won’t be THAAAAT hard when the time comes. That’s basically what I did for the assignment this time around and maybe will do so next time around (OH MY GOD A MR. BIG REFERENCE!!!).

p.s. Paul I still love you even though there aren’t any new videos of you surfacing in youtube. Well.. the one that you played Star Spangled Banner outside your balcony is kinda new but that’s a little boring.

p.p.s. Sam i'm looking forward to jam with you and your "Sam and Friends" band so tell me when is the session.

p.p.p.s. I haven't bath for one day. I don't know why I wanna let you guys know this.