Wednesday, July 10, 2013

What Does It Feels Like to be Addicted to Cigarettes?

Copied from reddit. Damn, this really hit me in the feels. It's EXACTLY how I started with the death stick. As usual, I wish I can write like some of these people here. So descriptive without being too bombastic with their vocabulary. Or maybe I just enjoyed reading this cause I can relate to it. Enjoy.

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i'm 30 and started smoking when i was 12. by the time i was 15 i was a full fledged pack a day smoker. over the years i have witnessed many people fall prey to the habit.
you start by smoking here and there, maybe you don't inhale at first, maybe you just like to blow it out your nose or smoke it like a cigar. it's only on certain occasions.
if you are fiddling with cigarettes, you likely have friends that are smoking, also. so you are hanging out, maybe having a few beers, and you see them smoking and decide to be social with them, and also have a cig, but alas, you have none. so you bum a few off a friend for the night. you kind of like it. it just feels good to have one with some drinks or just when you're talking and laughing. soon you do this every time you get together for a drink/movie/whatever. it's not a big deal, it's just once in a blue moon.
after a while, your friends start complaining that you are always asking for cigarettes but you never seem to have your own, you cheap son of a bitch. those shits are expensive. maybe next time you could come prepared and letother people bum them. so you buy a pack prior to the next gathering. it feels weird to order them at the counter, but whatever. it's only for the night and you feel like an asshole smoking everyone's cigarettes all night. you see how they act when they run low. you don't want to be that guy.
so now you have your own pack of cigarettes. it's just for the socialness of it. but at the end of the night you have leftovers. you leave them for a friend because what the hell do you need them for? the night is over. it's not like you're going to smoke them tomorrow.
eventually there comes a time where you decide you may as well keep the cigarettes you bought. they areexpensive and you're sick of having to buy them every time you go out, so you'll just save them for next time.
now, a weird thing happens when you have your own pack of cigarettes. maybe you'll get the idea to just smoke one after a shitty day, maybe you won't. maybe you'll have your own 6 pack while you watch the game. if you have a few beers, you will notice a strange urge to have one of those cigarettes. for the past few months, every time you've had drinks with friends you've had a few cigarettes. it's like they go together. it's just what you do. but there's no one else there, it's just you.
so you have a little debate with yourself. you don't need the cig, but you sure would like to have it. it's not going to ruin your night either way.
if you decide to have that cigarette, you have fucking failed. you are doomed. doomed. what you have done is solidified an association with having drinks and smoking cigarettes. it is no longer a social thing. you love the little buzz you get. you love playing with it as you sip your drink. you love trying to make smoke rings or whatever other cutesy shit you do to amuse yourself while you smoke it. you don't realize it, but you now have a habit. an itsy bitsy manageable habit, but a habit nonetheless.
you may now find yourself looking forward to outings with friends because you can't wait to have an occasion to smoke a cig or two. you might notice a feeling of "nakedness" if you have beer or two with dinner but no cigarette. you might hang out with your smoker friends on non drinking occasions and feel that same sense of something missing. then you see someone light a cig and it hits you. you want that fucking thing. shit. you have another internal debate with yourself about whether or not to have a cigarette without the drinks. you don't even have cigs on you. if you decide to bum one now, you are officially screwed. you gave in. now you've solidified an association between social occasions and smoking. you will come to expect this at gatherings. going out to dinner? let me join you for a cigarette. cookout? you don't mind if i have one of those, do you? i didn't bring any because i'm not drinking.
so now you smoke at social drinking occasions, you might smoke when drinking at home, and you also smoke when just hanging out. your friends again chastise you for bumming their cigarettes. buy your fucking own if you want one that bad, they say. you promise to bring your own next time...
now you smoke often enough to expect a cigarette after certain occasions. after dinner? smoke. movie's over? smoke. drinks at bob's? smoke. you dun goofed, and it's all downhill from here. you've accidentally built cigarettes into your life.
tl:dr a chain of events will lead to your expecting cigarettes on certain occasions, and if you buy them to fulfill this expectation, you're screwed.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

I JUST NEED TO POST THIS

53. 53 kgs, from 47kg back in April 2nd 2013. GOD BLESS THESE MUHFUCKING GAINZ.

All bunched up in my stomach and hips though, and a little bit of improvement on my back as I can no longer feel my bones (at least not that obvious) whenever I slouch over the computer masturbating to X-Art videos. I just hope that they'll go to my hands soon.

Lord Tyler
I come to you a hard gainer
And I humbly repent for my laziness
I believe that Tyler is Lord
I believe that you raised him from the dead
I will ask that Tyler will come to my life
And be my Lord and Savior
I receive Tyler to take control of my gainz
And that I may live for these gainz from this day forth
Thank you Lord Tyler for saving me with your precious gainz
In Tyler's name, Amen


Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Post-Elections

DAMN NIGGUH GUESS WHO'S BACK!!!

Unless you've been living in the woods foraging bushes, trapping rabbits and shit round here you should know that a controversial general election has just passed us by. People have been asking me what are my thoughts on the election and generally I've just been giving out generally dick answers like "Yeah.. umm... yeah, yeah.. cool." Fuck that shit. It doesn't mean that I'm without any opinions though. If I were to sum up the elections with just 2 pictures it'd be these two. First one would be:



I can't stand looking at more than 1 dicks (mine) at a time so this will do. Just try to imagine some 13 inch dicks in these hands above. That's what the People's Alliance (PR) is. A goddamn circlejerk. Don't know what a circlejerk is? Here's a definition from urban dictionary in its full glory:

"To kneel in a circle with others and pleasure oneself. Also refers to a pompous, self-congratulatory discussion where little to no progress is made."

First of all, I do not claim to be better, smarter, nor informed than the average joe here but do keep in mind that my standards of an average joe here in Malaysia is quite low. I don't want to go off on a tangent and slip off so I'll just address my problems with PR and its supporters like a true gangsta.


  • There's no doubt that most urban voters supports PR. There's also no doubt that these so-called "informed" muhfuckers fail to see that while they have this perception that rural voters have been "brainwashed" by the National Front (BN), they themselves have been brainwashed by PR. What the fuck does "alternative media" means when the "alternative media" that you consume is the ONLY media you're relying on? Fucking websites that are CLEARLY biased towards the PR.
  • This whole social media phenomenon is also pissing me off left and right. With everybody in YOUR circle of friends changing their profile picture to fucking rainbow birds, posting fingers up their vaginas, how can PR supporters not be over-confident in this general election? Even Anwar is proclaiming PR will win two hours into the election. Of course anything that doesn't result in PR winning will be a fraud in his eyes. Tell me this isn't self-mastubatory. Everybody that's going to vote for PR has already made up their mind five fucking years ago. We urban folks don't need convincing, rural folks do.
  • When they lose, everyone gets emotional and start acting like a pussy.

    "OH LORD MAGIC THIS, PHANTOM VOTERS THAT, OMAIGERD LET'S START PETITIONS TO ASK OTHERS TO CLEAN UP OUR SHIT, SHARE THIS SHIT OUT SO THAT I CAN JERK YOUR DICK WHILE YOU JERK MINE, LET'S CHANGE OUR PROFILE PICTURES SO THAT WE CAN FORGET IT A WEEK AFTER JUST LIKE KONY 2012 AND LYNAS"
    People spewing shit based on allegations, based on videos of people screaming for 30 seconds, based on videos of people screaming in Mandarin around Malay officials. Who the fuck doesn't get agitated with this shit? You call yourself informed while jerking your dick, making accusations and sharing it with your friends who most likely have the same opinion as you?
  • Phantom voters. PR supporters are so fucking full of themselves they don't even know they're full of hypocrisy and racism. Do they even know the term Bangla carries racist connotations in SEA? Do they even know how do differentiate between Bangladeshis and Tamil Indians? Even IF they really are phantom voters what gives you the right to attack and threaten them? Sharing posts asking for voters to look out for people who look like Bangladeshis. Friends and family sharing posts to stay at home cause apparently "Malays bought parangs to riot if PR wins."
  • Election frauds. Again, accusations made based on stupid videos of people screaming here and there for 30 seconds. But it's soooo fun so let me try this.
  1. OMAIGERD, PR put foreign workers in a bus and asked to them to say "I'm here to vote for BN" FUUUUCK THE OPPOSITION UP IN THE ASS!!!!...... NO LUBE!

  1. OOOOHMAIGERD, PR switched off the lights and transferred extra ballot boxes in plain sight so that if they lose they can say it's election fraud!! FUUUUUUCK THE OPPOSITION IN ITS MOUTH!!! DEEPTHROAT AND GAG!
I'm not saying there's no possibility. But please refrain from saying stupid shit based on stupid videos just because you subscribe to group-think, just like your counterparts from BN. On the other hand, who's to say PR doesn't stand to gain anything from all these frauds? This leads me to my next point.


  •  Who in their right mind actually think PR can actually defeat some 50+ years of BN rule in just 5 short years? All these circlejerking has made PR supporters over-confident and rightfully fucking butthurt when they didn't win. One thing that people don't understand is the vocal minority vs the silent majority. I'd like to believe that I'm in the latter category. All these PR bullshit doesn't convince me into supporting them. Cheaper cars? Cheaper everything? Better transportation? Guess what, BN promises the same thing too.

    "OOOH BUT BN IS RACED BASED POLITICS!!"

     Come the fuck on, take a step back and look at PR, not race based? Don't give me that,

     "Oooh but this % of in this area voted for this candidate!"

     Of course they're gonna vote for him who the fuck else can they vote for when he's the only guy from PR running in the area? MCA and MIC has gone to shit, people just want to vote for "change" without knowing fully what that "change" entails.

    But they're still not going to win, because all these mudslinging, smearing campaigns, vote for change, ubah this, ini kali that .. they're not convincing me. And I'm sure it's not convincing a lot of people. It's so.. immature. Honestly, the way those two do things are just the same, all so immature.


Man, there's so much more to say but I've become incoherent already. Bottom line is, I'm aware that I'm not politically informed enough of these two parties but from what I gather from my readings, both of them doesn't bring anything new onto the table for me. BN is still doing what it does best. PR is nothing but a circlejerk, supporters are just annoying the fuck out of me shoving their PR dicks forcefully into my mouth and my boss is still giving me shit pay.

Oh yeah, the other picture is this one:


 Contrary to popular opinion, this is actually not a critique towards BN's shenanigans during the election. This is actually me smirking like a fucking lizard towards the reaction of PR supporters when they lost. Keep on jerking, cunts.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Sigh

I can't stand it when my dad comes and visit me here, hundreds of miles away from home. My dad is;

bad tempered
immature at times
controlling
traditional
bad at managing things, people, money
stubborn
drives so fucking slow on KL highways

Despite all these flaws, the most soothing thing in this world is knowing that he cares for me and loves me in all the ways that he knows of without saying anything at all. Mom too. Everyone in the family. You guys never say it, including me, but hey, I fucking love you guys. Stay safe and be healthy.


Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Pussied Out

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Tuesday, September 25, 2012

On Desirable Boobs.

There's this discussion about why men are attracted to women's breasts sexually and how it's because ample breasts is a sign of fertility.

And there's this quote which made my day.
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So when I'm attracted to women's breasts I'm subconsciously thinking "Damn, those breasts are fertile as fuck!"?

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I need to use this line more.

Monday, September 10, 2012

I Hate

My fucking job.



This industry is not for me.