MY Top 5 Hotties In 2008

notice the title? it says MY, as in my opinion. so if you disagree, you're wrong.. at least when you're still in this page. some of the girls here might be old news but what the heck, i just learnt to appreciate them this year.

#5 SARA UNDERWOOD



actually i don't find her hot at all. but man, that PGM is looking hot as hell. i often have the urge to just cum all over its sweet white body. and cuddle with her after the orgasmic sex talking about our future together. this is a universally accepted fact..... right?


#4 MISA CAMPO



look at that picture. fuck, look at her for 5 more minutes. if you tell me she isn't hot you have got some serious ass kicking to do, to yourself. misa is from the import scene. too bad she's bimbotic though. at least that's what she's marketing herself as, to me. otherwise she'll definitely rank higher.

#3 CHUN LI



the ONLY valid reason i'll accept for explaining why feminism is still around is CHUN LI. ever since street fighter II she's been kicking men's ass, displaying the ultimate "girl power" to humanity. forget celine dion, she's just a fucking cunt who sings love songs. chicks who sings love songs are actually discouraging feminism. dion the cunt is just showing how weak the female gender is and that's a big nono. besides, how can you resist those brown hair bun and spiked braces?! plus, she's a fucking police, tell me how hot is that.

#2 KEELEY HAZELL



KEELEY HAS IT ALL!!
1. long sexy legs, check
2. big natural boobs, check
3. looks, check
4. singlet that says england(kind of redundant, she'll look better without it), check
5. sex tape, check
6. willing to pose topless, check
7. has a colour,type of good AND nut for a name, check
8. pants, no check but who the fuck cares?
9. me, check (hey keeley i'm still waiting for your call)


#1 MONICA BELLUCI



the only reason why i'm still attending boring IT lectures is cause there's a monica lookalike in my class. not as hot. you can say she's a poor man's monica. monica is hands down the hottest chick walking on this earth right now. she manages to look hot in every movie she's in and is that even fucking possible?! even in the passion of the christ, she looked hot sobbing. mel gibson, next time when you decide to direct a religious film please don't place monica inside. all i could think about after the movie is monica, not christ. PLUS, she's born in the mid 60s. the reason why there's a hot 44 years old woman in this world is still eluding me, constantly leaving me in a baffled state whenever i decide to stalk her in youtube.


OTHER NOTEWORTHY MENTIONS

MARY ELIZABETH WINSTEAD



first saw her in final destination 3. BUT it was in "Sky High" that i was convinced that my role in this world is to write a "Mary Elizabeth Winstead Appreciation Post", which i have yet to do. blame procrastination, fuck it. furthermore, she plays as john mcclane's daughter in die hard 4, that alone spells h-o-t.


LEAH DIZON



if you're a teenager living in malaysia and have not heard of leah dizon. please follow these steps:

1. stand up and take a step back.
2. proceed to the toilet.
3. gently place your head inside the toilet bowl and flush yourself senseless.

she used to be my number 1 until i found out she's married and pregnant with her child. hmph, finally i caught you cheating behind my back. what a slut.


IRINA LAZAREANU



got to know her through her acquaintance with pete doherty, whom i absolutely loathe now. irina has this vintage rock 'n' roll look that i like, just look at those crack addict eyes, guitar and the ciggie she's holding. she's got no boobs but fuck you, i don't care. i'm not much of a boob guy anyway.


MEGAN FOX



no, i don't think she's hot at all but i seem to get those "are you gay" stares from friends whenever i decide to voice my opinion about her. fuck you all, i just think she's overrated which is why she's in this section.

The Difference Between..

playing your guitar at home all by yourself in front of the pc AND playing with a jam mate or two outside the comfort of your room.

some of you might know that saturday is the day that i embark on the journey of self-discovery, venturing through the plains of rock 'n' roll clashing steel with scandinavian rock pirates, knocking on the devil's door playing blues and go back to the 80's for some good ol heavy metal riffing. all this while carrying my un-pimped axe (guitar) around.

truth be told, today is the first time i jammed with another guitar player other than imaginary players from my computer. for fuck's sake i was having difficulty playing even simple blues licks. i have come to the realisation that experience really matters when it comes to jamming. being able to hit 20 notes per second means nothing if you're in front of someone else.

so here are a couple of things that hindered my playing today:-

1. i couldn't come up with different licks. somehow, all the licks i played sound the same. and unlike playing at home by myself, i couldn't pause or correct myself if i played a wrong note. so i stayed with playing the same bullshit over and over again..

2. my mind kept meandering around the room, mostly focusing on the lead guitar when i'm riffing. this is cause i'm so used to hearing myself play lead, i just couldn't control myself and listened to my mate play. result? i kept forgetting my riffing rhytmn, which ends with disastrous timing.

3. playing by backing tracks from my computer is fucking easy cause everything is laid out for me. and i'm so used to playing accompanied by backing tracks i even memorised the timing and all. jamming though, is a totally different thing. you have to pay attention to everyone just to be in the correct time signature.

4. ran out of fucking things to play, every chord progressions sounds the same(boredom boring its boring self into my boring skull). note to self: discuss about list of things to play before the actual day. at home, i have a vast arsenal of songs to play with. but that's not the case with jamming.

5. i'm so familiar with my tone at home to the point that i can jizz in my pants just by listening to it. at music master (the holy temple of PJ shred) where the amp is different (although better), listening to the tone i get there is like hearing a 80 years old granny moaning in ecstacy (unfuckingbearable)


CESSATION:-

ARE YOU EXPERIENCED? IF NOT, GET EXPERIENCED.

What If.

there's a lot of IFs in this world, no doubt about that. every single fucking day we will whisper to ourselves, what if this.. what if that.. what if i didn't turn down that blowjob.. what if i'm into weird fetishes like those fucked up japanese and the list goes on and on. after dicking around on the internet for almost the whole fucking day, one article i read inspired this post.

i found this little gem on the internet today, as i am html-illiterate i'll just paste the essential part that proved to be thought provoking for me, and hopefully for you. honestly i've never thought of the internet to be a bad thing. free pornos are always the best no matter what you think. IT IS WITHOUT ANY DOUBT, that free porno is arguably the only thing that transcends race and religion and all of humanity can unite by upholding the divine code of appreciating free pornos through the internet. *cue in john lennon's imagine*

QUOTE START

Now, author Nicholas Carr posits a new theory. In "Is Google Making Us Stupid?" he notes that he and many of his literary friends report the same experience, leading him to wonder if the Internet is not rewiring our very brains, not altering the hard drive of the human computer. The culture of hyperlinks, blogs and search engines that return more results than you could read in a lifetime is, he argues, changing the way we read and, indeed, think.

You hardly need me to sell you on the benefits of the Internet. Sitting at his or her desk, the average human being now has instant access to a vast universe of information a previous generation could not have begun to dream.

But what if the very vastness of that universe, the very fact of so much out there to know and so little time to know it in, requires a trade-off in concentration and focus? I mean, we may have more options than ever before, but we're still dealing with the same 24-hour days we've always had. And the Internet does little to filter or prioritize the information it retrieves - it simply dumps it on your head and leaves it to you to figure out. So perhaps it is to be expected that we learn to skim and scan information but lose the ability to truly absorb and analyze it.

QUOTE END


give it a little thought and it might just ring a bell.. loud enough to spend a chill down your spine. enough of those bullshit "advantages of the internet" that your high school teachers and even college lecturers force you to write an essay about. just maybe, it's time to look at the internet from another perspective.

i for one, waste almost all my time dicking around the internet even though there's a lot more stuff to do.... like, dicking around outside the house. wait, i think that makes no difference. anyway, there's just too many stuff on the internet nowadays. knowledge accessible to us is too vast that if we don't pick what we wanna learn, we'll just end up wasting those information away, our brains aren't computers after all.

examples
1. read through each beatle's biography countless time and still can't remember their birthdays. thus, no birthday wishes to people on my msn's personal messages, yet.

2. watching so much porn online i sometimes i re-watch the same shit and not realise it. only by the time i see someone's (the female's, i'm not a fag although alotta fags wish i was a fag, heh) face get riddled with cumshots then i wanted to kick myself for wasting time.. watching porn. the same porn. again.


furthermore, i've noticed that internet slangs/abbreviations have slowly crept into verbal conversations. i plead you all to NOT fucking go on freak mode when your friends suddenly say "lol", literally while conversing with you. evidently, this has become a social disease. more on this another fucking day.

Some people have too much time on their hands.

for fuck's sake, somebody please tell me who the hell is turning this country into a nation of pussies. it's hard to please people nowadays, y'know as they get their brains fucked up by some stupid stuff. correct me if wrong but some people get all teary eyed by the less sensitive things in the world.

as opposed to public opinion, i for one do not get disgusted by clothes or panties or boxers or underwears hanging out in your balcony. i think it's just ridiculous. fuck, you can even leave your entire array of undergarments out in the open to dry for all i care. i think i speak for poor folks when i say we don't have the fucking money to buy a dryer or whatever to begin with. we forgot to wash them yesterday and we just wanna be able to wear my underwear for college or work tomorrow and is that too hard to ask?

besides, who the hell takes the time to stare at other people's undergarments? just get on with your life or is it that yours is just too mundane? these dimwits seriously need to find something to do. it's not like your neighbours are hanging nude men with pubic hair half the size of a football court out to dry on a beautiful sunday morning. these pitiful neighbours of yours aren't telling you to subject their undies to your mind rape, right?

okay how about this, when i get rich i'll buy every piece of clothes available in malaysia and just fucking burn them. fuck you, fuck everybody. you won't find anymore undergarments hanging out in the open and the best thing of all, nobody wears anything anymore. hooray for nudists!

apparently, even the government complains about bullshits like this

i think you have tons of more important things to worry about, najis. and by that, i mean A LOT.

A Brief Introduction to...

me, and the blog of course. as you all probably derived from the title,
this is the place where i get to write, and you get to read. forget looking at pictures though, because you as readers, should only READ. but for starters, i'll try my best to define what i meant. firstly, i'm not photogenic at all and i try not to make myself look like an vain fuck since i don't really score in the looks department.

secondly, i hold a firm belief in the connotation that only girls are allowed to post pictures in their blog for me to look at, unless you're paul gilbert. otherwise bitch please, show me the exit. and there will certainly be extra marks for her food pictures if she's hot.

one last reason is that personally, i always go to other people's blog for the content, read what they have to share be it jokes or stuff about life. you can post all the pictures you've taken at inside your grandma's toilet but if you write nothing that interests me, bitch please, show me where the close button is at. on another note, NFSW pictures are welcomed.

few years ago, i had this aspiration to become a writer. i even believed that an amazing writer can get hot chicks to fellate him (over from the computer monitor) and all that. and... i still do think like that. which is why i suddenly thought about not wanting to let my skills with the pen dwindle while shitting in the toilet last night. i don't profess myself to be an exceptionally good writer so do bear with me if there's any grammar mistakes or silly metaphors.

if any of you out there knows me, you probably know that i take my music seriously. i am like the fucking da vinci of music, get it? aside from sharpening my writing abillity, which is leaning towards the newbie side, i will be talking about music, guitars, and mostly life. don't expect to read detailed stuff (maybe snippets only) about me cause i'm not even interesting to begin with. conclusion, it will be fantastic if none of you consider this to be a blog, call if anything you want but DON'T call it a blog. you can even call it "a green piece of shit" or "wah this motherfucker think he's so great and shit" and i won't even budge.

to end this post, i'll compose a set of commandments (i want you to worship me, honestly) for all readers to follow. there are ten, to be exact:-

1. you shall not insult the Beatles
2. you shall not insult the Beatles
3. you shall not insult the Beatles
4. you shall not insult the Beatles
5. you shall not insult the Beatles
6. you shall not insult the Beatles
7. you shall not insult the Beatles
8. you shall not insult the Beatles
9. you shall not insult the Beatles
10. you shall not insult the Beatles

notice that the only word with capital here (in a noun) is the letter "b" in Beatles? rule number eleven, you shall not insult THE Beatles.