I remember some band came out with their version of Michael's Jackson "Beat It" sometime ago. Or maybe a few years before. I don't know. But what I know is guitar players (shredders especially) facepalmed themselves repeatedly cause they think John Mayer ruined the shred-y solo that Van Halen originally played. Others moaned in dismay just because it's Fall Out Boy.
But then came December 8, 2009. These critics learnt that they are gonna get what they ask, in lethal dose. Somehow, somewhere.. Yngwie Malmsteen answered their prayers while eating his daily intake of Big Macs, or maybe just some fuckin' donuts. I don't know which. I found out today that last December, Yngwie came up with another compilation album again and in it, there's a cover of "Beat It". Taken from wikipedia, it says there that this is one of his "most masterful performances since 1993".
I wasn't planning on writing today but this shit is just too funny. I was laughing like it was Comedy Central right here at my apartment. Dear guitar players, will you side with Yngwie, or Van Halen?
Brace yourself, cause here it comes. "Beat It" by the Viking himself.
p.s. OH BY THE WAY PAUL UPDATED HIS SITE SAYING THAT HE IS IN THE PROCESS OF RECORDING OH MY GOD I'M CUMMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Appearing Offline
Everyone probably has that friend who constantly appears offline in their MSN. Not that I undermine my ability to comprehend these things, but one thing that annoys me is that when they appear offline, they still look for people to talk to or somehow replies to whoever that messages them.
Why the fuck bother?
Why the fuck do you bother replying these people when your true intention is to not let anyone know that you're on the internet? Let me tell you something. When you appear offline, you are sending out the message that YOU ARE NOT THERE. And even if you're there, it just means that YOU DO NOT WANT TO TALK TO PEOPLE. That's what Appear Offline is for. It's for you to isolate yourself from the rest of the world while you masturbate to the latest porn collection from redtube or wherever the fuck your resources are from.
Which leads to my next point..
There are some really weird people with a couple of screws loose who spends every moment of their time in MSN appearing offline. For fuck's sake then why did you download MSN in the first place? Okay, I understand that maybe you have a certain person that you'll want to keep in contact with. So why not block the others? If you're certain you won't talk to them anymore, just block+delete them, doesn't that makes life easier for the one you want to talk to and also yourself?
I just don't understand Appear Offline, especially those who do it 70% of their time in MSN. Might as well delete all the other contacts you have or uninstall your MSN.
Why the fuck bother?
Why the fuck do you bother replying these people when your true intention is to not let anyone know that you're on the internet? Let me tell you something. When you appear offline, you are sending out the message that YOU ARE NOT THERE. And even if you're there, it just means that YOU DO NOT WANT TO TALK TO PEOPLE. That's what Appear Offline is for. It's for you to isolate yourself from the rest of the world while you masturbate to the latest porn collection from redtube or wherever the fuck your resources are from.
Which leads to my next point..
There are some really weird people with a couple of screws loose who spends every moment of their time in MSN appearing offline. For fuck's sake then why did you download MSN in the first place? Okay, I understand that maybe you have a certain person that you'll want to keep in contact with. So why not block the others? If you're certain you won't talk to them anymore, just block+delete them, doesn't that makes life easier for the one you want to talk to and also yourself?
I just don't understand Appear Offline, especially those who do it 70% of their time in MSN. Might as well delete all the other contacts you have or uninstall your MSN.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
The Divine Cycle
People say that I'm all 30% asshole and 70% no feelings, and I say they're 100% correct. If yours truly do truly make it in life, I believe that the reason is because I'm great at being an ass. Begging people to believe my principles and views are like screaming to an endless stretch of a wall. But since this is the place where you read, you might as well read or never come here again (secretly, I meant hiding behind your computer and laugh at my penned words).
If there's anything more factual than the fact that Paul Gilbert is God, it's the fact that I hate beggars. Before you start running your mouth, beating the next Olympic Gold Medalist, please allow me to explain.
I promptly believe that they are only three social stages on earth. First, are the rich people a.k.a. the powerful ones. Second, the ones stuck in the middle a.k.a. working class. Lastly, the poor ones a.k.a. beggars.
The RICH
You know they always say the rich gets richer, the poor gets poorer. And I throw my hats off to these people whenever they say it... Well when I don't wear hats I throw the middle finger of respect. These people are here to control the middle one. Give inspirations, telling you that anyone can make it if they work hard enough (for them) and buy shits (their shit). Ergo, everything goes well and the earth still revolves around the sun and you'll still be buried 6 feet under, full of debt when everything ends for you. If Abraham Lincoln didn't abolish slavery, you might as well call me a slave from this moment on, it makes no difference.
The MIDDLE CLASS
The middle class people? They're here to feed the rich people. They strive and brave mighty currents of shit waves thrown at them each and everyday to make ends meet. They tell themselves they can make it if they just put enough effort. Yeah yeah, in the great course of their life they'll get promotions and whatnot. But at the end of the day, they'll wonder why they're not advancing to the top yet. It is a universal fact that the most asked questions of a normal working class guy are, "Am I not working hard enough?" and "Hmm, did I suck enough corporate cocks today?" I don't know, but it's most probable that wikipedia has an article on sucking corporate cocks. If there aren't any, just make sure to check this page out.
The BEGGARS
Now comes the biggest part, the poor ones who will from now onwards be referred as the beggars. Beggars plays a big role in this post because they have only one objective, and that is the scare the shit out of the middle class people. They're here to remind the middle class that THEY WILL BECOME BEGGARS if they don't work their ass off. As of now, I'm secretly believing that the government are paying beggars for just.... being beggars. Now isn't that scary. I bet that if there aren't any beggars, the sun will start revolving around the moon and gays start getting abortions all around the world. The whole cycle will be destroyed!
-pictured above is the divine cycle of social status-
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Since I like guitar solos and you must be worshipping it too for the duration that you spend on this page, I'll compare this whole post with a solo.
The term "guitar solo" is the rich guy. The notes are the middle class. The beggars are the wrongly played notes, inaccuracies or mistakes.
People always remember solos as "that guitar solo from Sweet Child 'O Mine" and not "that G note from Sweet Child 'O Mine". Goddamnit there are so many G notes in that song by the we find out which note is it, John Cusack will be driving limos through earthquakes and tsunamis escaping the end of the world.
The solo will always be the term firstly used, then comes the particular note (because notes work for the boss). But that note must note be inaccurate, or it'll be rendered useless. The inaccurate note will exist solely to remind all those notes that if they moved around too freely, there's a 90% chance that they will be forever remembered as, "That awfully sounding note provides no meaning to the song."
Now please tell me why I shouldn't be scared of beggars.
One one last note, I'm fucking awesome.
If there's anything more factual than the fact that Paul Gilbert is God, it's the fact that I hate beggars. Before you start running your mouth, beating the next Olympic Gold Medalist, please allow me to explain.
I promptly believe that they are only three social stages on earth. First, are the rich people a.k.a. the powerful ones. Second, the ones stuck in the middle a.k.a. working class. Lastly, the poor ones a.k.a. beggars.
The RICH
You know they always say the rich gets richer, the poor gets poorer. And I throw my hats off to these people whenever they say it... Well when I don't wear hats I throw the middle finger of respect. These people are here to control the middle one. Give inspirations, telling you that anyone can make it if they work hard enough (for them) and buy shits (their shit). Ergo, everything goes well and the earth still revolves around the sun and you'll still be buried 6 feet under, full of debt when everything ends for you. If Abraham Lincoln didn't abolish slavery, you might as well call me a slave from this moment on, it makes no difference.
The MIDDLE CLASS
The middle class people? They're here to feed the rich people. They strive and brave mighty currents of shit waves thrown at them each and everyday to make ends meet. They tell themselves they can make it if they just put enough effort. Yeah yeah, in the great course of their life they'll get promotions and whatnot. But at the end of the day, they'll wonder why they're not advancing to the top yet. It is a universal fact that the most asked questions of a normal working class guy are, "Am I not working hard enough?" and "Hmm, did I suck enough corporate cocks today?" I don't know, but it's most probable that wikipedia has an article on sucking corporate cocks. If there aren't any, just make sure to check this page out.
The BEGGARS
Now comes the biggest part, the poor ones who will from now onwards be referred as the beggars. Beggars plays a big role in this post because they have only one objective, and that is the scare the shit out of the middle class people. They're here to remind the middle class that THEY WILL BECOME BEGGARS if they don't work their ass off. As of now, I'm secretly believing that the government are paying beggars for just.... being beggars. Now isn't that scary. I bet that if there aren't any beggars, the sun will start revolving around the moon and gays start getting abortions all around the world. The whole cycle will be destroyed!
-pictured above is the divine cycle of social status-
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Since I like guitar solos and you must be worshipping it too for the duration that you spend on this page, I'll compare this whole post with a solo.
The term "guitar solo" is the rich guy. The notes are the middle class. The beggars are the wrongly played notes, inaccuracies or mistakes.
People always remember solos as "that guitar solo from Sweet Child 'O Mine" and not "that G note from Sweet Child 'O Mine". Goddamnit there are so many G notes in that song by the we find out which note is it, John Cusack will be driving limos through earthquakes and tsunamis escaping the end of the world.
The solo will always be the term firstly used, then comes the particular note (because notes work for the boss). But that note must note be inaccurate, or it'll be rendered useless. The inaccurate note will exist solely to remind all those notes that if they moved around too freely, there's a 90% chance that they will be forever remembered as, "That awfully sounding note provides no meaning to the song."
Now please tell me why I shouldn't be scared of beggars.
One one last note, I'm fucking awesome.
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