Me Wants Be Retard

A lot of movie going fags are going to go all out and make sure I go to hell for this, but I’ve just watched Forrest Gump a couple of weeks ago. Gee, even my not so English educated brother has seen it, maybe I do really deserve to die. Fuck it, nobody’s gonna stop me from writing this anyway.

The movie is really, REALLY touching. I almost had an interesting conversation with my brother that night over a glass of teardrops but being the man that I am, I didn’t cry. Maybe I have a soft spot for mentally retarded people. Then again, I’ll just resort to the option that I am indeed a sensitive and loving man. For those of you who (except me) doesn’t know what the movie is about, this flick is on how by just being honest and following your heart, everything good will comes to you and you’ll live a fairly interesting life with free pussy (albeit only one) thrown at you.

Obviously, what Forrest went through is very fucking impossible. Now kids, don’t let this movie be your excuse for being stupid and retarded. Everybody knows nobody gets THAT far in life for just being ignorant not to mention, retarded. Let’s get real, people. Yes, it gives you hope for being stupid but I strongly insist that these kind of stuff only happen to you when there’s a crew filming you and your boring lives.

Like every other TV series that has major twists in their stories (I’m looking at you, 24, Lost and Prison Break), this one has that twist that just makes you wanna scream, “OOMPH!”

Ironically, I wish I’m retarded at times. I’m serious, instead of finding the cure for AIDS why don’t doctors make pills that make you stupid and retarded for only a certain period of time. Oh wait, they did it already. I forgot the miracle and hard work of men called ecstasy pills and Johnny Walkers.

I guess that’s why people drink their sorrows away. Your mind needs to be blank once in awhile at the expense of getting ridiculed at when you make love with the pavement and your puke by the street. Believe me, I’ve seen many strong and eager men fell in the battle against the evil that is liquor. Strangely, they’re always accompanied by statements like,

“HAHAHA let’s take a picture with him while he’s drunk, while flashing the peace sign.”
“I’m glad I have a Facebook account. Thank you, God.”

I want to be retarded like Forrest Gump, living life without any care. My brain screams for me to let him have a well deserved rest. My eyes refuse to let me see things as they are. My tongue wants to reject the pain and insecurity that is the future. My sense of touch wants to snub the boredom in everything I do. The liar in me wants to stop lying without guilt. You took everything I have, but why not my brain?

Anybody wants to drink? Only if you treat, though.