It is without any qualms when I say that everyone is a liar. Yes, the one you told your dad about you giving him RM1000 a month for him to “yum cha” counts. It may be a white lie, but fuck you know it is still a lie no matter how you put it. But if you’re serious about it, please look into the mirror and picture a dick on top of your head. Anyways, that’s not the point of this post. I believe boys lie, but less than their female counterparts. Here are some lies that I am GUESSING that everyone has said at least once in their lives.
1. Oh yeah… great… oh yes for sure I was listening, dear.
2. Oh the car bumper isn’t new, dad. I just washed it last night when I came back at 4am after drinking and driving.
3. I was (whatever shit that is not called masturbating) last night while talking to you.
4. You’re my first….
5. Nah, I’m not into any of your girl friends.
6. Oh wow that’s so interesting!
7. Yeah dad I’m going for tuition. Oh yeah if my shirt smells like cigarettes it’s only cause one of my friends smoke. Nope I’m NOT going to cybercafés
8. Mom I need the tuition fees for the ten o clock tuition (which I’ve never attended).
9. Wh-What? What is squirting? Gee I’ve never heard of that term..
10. I love you too.
What, you think I’m just gonna stop there? Think again, motherfuckers. Although 100% of my readers consists of males but I’d like to GUESS what lies girls tell too. As far as I’m concerned, girls tell about the same amount of lies as guys do, or maybe even more. But hell, when she looks at you with those puppy eyes you’ll think that the stars are somehow aligned tonight and she’s telling the fucking truth. Let me educate some of you bastards and shove this principle into your brain: Don’t Trust Anyone.
1. Sense of humor is the main quality I look for in a guy.
2. It’s so big.
3. You’re my first…
4. You’re my fourth *pauses* but this is my first time….
5. Oh he’s just a friend.. who coincidentally says he loves me as a friend, takes me out, buy me expensive shit.
6. I’m not that kind of girl.
7. Hey help me with this bit of assignment tonight? A.K.A. Just do all this shit for me, thanks.
8. Oh yeah I go to clubs to dance, helps me keep fit. But ignore the fact that I drink more than I dance.
9. Heavy metal? Uhh… umm…. I like it! *after two days* Hey is Coldplay heavy metal?
10. I only cheated because he was mean to me.
Anything you wanna add? Just to let you know, I'm glaring intently at my Music Master friends.
6 comments:
Male lies ..
5.Nah, I'm not into any of your girl friends
LOL
you should add 2 more .
11.i will not bang any of my heng dai's girlfriend or their ex girlfriend . because i choose heng tai brother's friendship over chicks any day
12.Not bad wurt your playing . dynamics and vibrato damn nice .
number 12 sounds like wut gapnap will say, haha..
gapnap: hahahha so means you said this before la wtf
deadeye: ya he just said it, so confirm already wtf
"tht ferer ah, fucking lency one, brags everytime one, unlike me, you see my style uh, i mmg wont lency one, although im good la you know"
ei wut happen to the blogger? no updates for 2 weeks. unlike u wei
deadeye: cause i don't know what to say oh. maybe i'm gonna do a post on 3 random things
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